


Thirteen Rules That Coal Hill Follows

by crocs



Category: Class (TV 2016), Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: 13 Things, Coal Hill School, Gen, POV Outsider, Rules, School, gothic????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 19:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11996256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crocs/pseuds/crocs
Summary: 'Rule Two: Don’t actually expect to learn anything about Physics from Miss. Quill’s lessons.- Rule 2a: Do expect to learn something about the art of battle strategy, and war. Do not ask where she got this information. People have gone missing from this school for less.See: Miss. Oswald. See: Mr. Armitage.- Rule 2b: Don’t say anything about the lack of teaching of physics to her face. People have gone missing from this school for less.See: Miss. Oswald. See: Mr. Armitage.'There are thirteen rules that Coal Hill Academy follows. They are simple. The consequences of not following them are extensive.





	Thirteen Rules That Coal Hill Follows

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The First Rule of Beacon Hills High](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4472780) by [seekeronthepath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekeronthepath/pseuds/seekeronthepath). 



 

 **Rule One:** The new Caretaker always lies.

 

 **Rule Two:** Don’t actually expect to learn anything about Physics from Miss. Quill’s lessons.

  *   **Rule 2a:** Do expect to learn something about the art of battle strategy and war. Do not ask where she got this information. People have gone missing from this school for less. _See: Miss. Oswald. See: Mr. Armitage._


  * **Rule 2b:** Don’t say anything about the lack of teaching of physics to her face. People have gone missing from this school for less. _See: Miss. Oswald. See: Mr. Armitage._



 

 **Rule Three:** If you are sent to Detention, and the room you’re supposed to go to has disappeared from the hallway, don’t question it. Just walk away, slowly.

 

 **Rule Four:** Miss. Oswald sometimes makes comments about how good famous literary writers are at kissing. Don’t question her. Just lower your hand, slowly.

 

 **Rule Five:** List of things Matteusz Andrzejewski is: Tall, Polish, Charlie Smith’s boyfriend. List of things Matteusz Andrzejewski isn’t: Unable to kick your arse. Do not underestimate him.

 

 **Rule Six:** Come to class prepared with materials, and a positive attitude.

  * **Rule 6a:** Materials include: headphones, a pen, a calculator, and a good excuse as to why you are 2 years early to your next lesson. It is always best to be prepared.



 

 **Rule Seven:** Remain in your assigned seat. Ask for permission before walking around the classroom. Don’t run around with scissors. What will happen if you do? It is best not to ask.

 

 **Rule Eight:** Students must attend school daily. Failure to do so will result in a visit to your parents. Your parents don’t deserve that, no matter what they’ve done. You heartless monster.

 

 **Rule Nine:** When “journalists” come knocking at the door for a statement about your school, remember: **R.E.S.P.E.C.T.**

  * **R –** Is her name **R** ani Chandra? Talk to her. She knows.


  * **E –** Is **E** veryone avoiding them? Don’t talk to them. They will know soon.


  * **S** – Is her name **S** arah Jane Smith? Talk to her. She knows.


  * **P** – Are **P** eople crowding around them? Alert your Friends. Make sure the “journalist” does not know.


  * **E** – Is the “journalist” **E** xcited about something? Talk to them. They don’t know nearly enough.


  * **C** – Are they **C** laiming that there’s something wrong at Coal Hill? Alert your Friends. Make sure the “journalist” does not know.


  * **T** – Do they have a badge saying **T** orchwood? Be very careful. Talk to them. Make sure they know that your Friends will take care of it.



 

 **Rule Ten:** The school grounds are closed from 3pm to 9am the following morning. You may hear screams from inside.

  * **Rule 10a:** Do not go in. Do not go in. Do not go in.



 

 **Rule Eleven:** The school grounds are open from 9am to 3pm. You may hear screams from outside.

  * **Rule 11a:** Do not wander off. Do not wander off. Do not wander off.



 

 **R** **ule Twelve:** The blue box with a wooden facade in the Caretaker’s cupboard says ‘Pull To Open.’ Don’t. It will not save you. Rather, it will most likely doom you, while saving everyone else. Enter as a last resort.

 

 **Rule Thirteen:** When it comes to slightly more odd matters, UNIT is not your Friend.

  * **Rule 13a:** Your Friends include: Tanya Adeola, Ram Singh, Matteusz Andrzejewski, April Maclean, Miss. Oswald.


  * **Rule 13b:** Your Friends sometimes include: Charlie Smith, Miss. Quill, Courtney Woods, Mr. Armitage, Mr. Pink.


  * **Rule 13c:** The new headteacher is not your Friend.


  * **Rule 13d:** You should hope that the new Caretaker (and the blue box that stole them) doesn’t want to be your Friend. People have gone missing from this school for exactly this. _See: Miss. Oswald. See: Mr. Armitage._



 


End file.
